Today is a different kind of post. I write the majority of my posts about how to do something, whether making a recipe, or detailing life moments that hopefully inspired you as much as they inspired me. But, SHOCKER, I'm not always that soul-searcher. However much I aim to be a perfect, walking-talking wellness-machine , a persona I inhabit because wellness and holistic health is my passion, god knows I lack inspiration, positive energy, and thoughts occasionally. More than occasionally. I am always honest with you; I owe that to my readers and subscribers to be real, raw, and authentic with you, no matter how imperfect I am. So today, I'm giving you the same Zoe, but the imperfect human as well. I want to share with you a piece of a blog post from around 2013.
Circa 2013 Zoe's Zephyr
Hello blog world,
I recently decided to the best version of myself. And I am going to stick to that resolution.I will be compassionate, loving, understanding, and a pillar of strength, although I will not be afraid to show my weaknesses and vulnerable side when I need assistance or support from others.I will make a conscious effort to be happy: an act in of itself.If we all become our best selves- and treat our bodies, our minds, and our inner beings with respect and love, will we not then reciprocate that understanding to our loved ones? If we are to be healthy, appreciative, grateful towards our friends and family, then we must first be that source of light for ourselves.Take the time out today to be the best version of you; do the thing that you never had the chance to do. Take up knitting for a change. Start the health kick that you never seem to have energy for. Take a yoga class. Write a novel just because you feel like it. Do what will make you a fulfilled, happy, and calm person- ready to take all the world and all that comes with it.Take care of you, your body, your wants and desires, and your spiritual self. To do so is to then create a sphere of love, kindness and understanding that will envelop you, your family, your friends, your co-workers, your classmates, and the world. Namaste.
So, that post was around 2 1/2 years ago, on a blog I no longer contribute to. The question here is: did I understand what I was proclaiming? Was it merely the dream I had been longing for, a self-actualized self that I aimed to be. Yes. And yes. Did it mean that those words were false. No! Do I, and did I want that best-self to appear more often, that kick-ass woman whose most important relationship is with herself, to care for me because I am valuable and worthy to be loved. Absolutely positively.
When I see this post, what comes to mind is a different Zoe. A Zoe who thought being that straight A student was going to save me, fix me, fix my personal life and struggles, take me away from those ugly monsters guilt and shame that plague me. BTW- it didn't.
But what THIS DOES STAND FOR is the beginning of the search for ME. The search for the present-searching for the positive, being grateful for one thing every day- searching for light and healing energy in a point of life where in my consciousness, and in my energy sphere, I didn't let much good come in. THE FEAR OF FAILURE, DISTANCE, BROKENNESS- left me empty. Hollow- only searching for temporary solace in one bite of control I could have- perfection.
This little dittie started it all. These above thoughts prompted the words you read right now, the creation of ThinkZoeBoost, and the quest inwardly to find peace, balance, and light. ThinkZoeBoost, though a product of writings, images, for your enjoyment and consumption, is my way of healing as well. In sharing and creating, I am my best self- I can affect someone else's life in a positive way- in that way I am valuable and loved. On a couple of occasional posts, I have reminded you that yes, I'm on this journey called life, and sometimes I f*k up as a human. But, the realization is now, in that imperfection, in my f*king up, is what makes me human.
I fight every day for happiness. For peace, balance, harmony, and healing. Stability. I'm still figuring out what, who, ME is. What she likes, doesn't like, enjoys eating- what makes my soul sing. In those moment of messing up, not being the best human on the planet, is when I can find the strength, compassion, & energy to forgive. Hardest is myself. It's possible, but I want to let you know I don't have a secret key, guide, to happiness. I'm still figuring it out: accepting that humanity all want to end or still suffering, and are on quest towards happiness. We are doing together. Together, we are unstoppable.
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart-you give me soul, energy, and vitality.
Namaste,
Zoe
Namaste,
Zoe
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